Missing Earrings, Disappearing Salons, and Bear Cubs in the Aisles


Dear God, let this be just a bad nightmare. 

~ Roy Horn

Soon after the engagement, the nightmares began. I’m not referring to the difficulties of finding a reasonably-priced photographer, or the frustrations of dealing with family members who think their part in the wedding trumps all. I mean literal nightmares.

Once, in college, an engaged friend told me she had dreamt the night before that she was walking down the aisle in a khaki wedding dress. She had woken up drenched in sweat.

It wasn’t long until I found myself in a similar predicament. Although I was wearing a taffeta dress, I found myself standing at the beginning of the aisle… without earrings. My hair was up, my dress was on, and my lobes were empty. When I finally snapped out of the horrible nightmare, I ran to my closet and put a pair of earrings in the shoebox with my heels for the wedding.

In the next nightmare, my parents and I decided to go to Applebee’s for lunch one day–my wedding day, to be exact. There was quite a wait. When we were finally seated, I looked down at my watch and realized it was 2:15pm. The ceremony is set to begin at two. This prompted me to add my wedding to my Google calendar upon awaking.


They got worse. In one, I overslept, forgot to schedule a hair appointment, couldn’t pick up the horses we were supposed to ride down the aisles, and had misplaced the programs. In another, my maid of honor and I were running on foot around downtown Kansas City, searching desperately for a specific hair salon. One of the silliest so far was when B had arranged a “surprise” for me on the big day–bear cubs wrestling on the chancel during the ceremony. He thought it would be “cute.”

I’ve decided these nightmares are a result of my subconscious helping me to remember the ins-and-outs of such a detail-oriented day. After all, they’ve prompted me to schedule my wedding, pick out earrings, confirm my hair appointment, and… well… B assures me he’s not planning any “cute surprises.”

I can think of infinite possibilities for things that could go wrong on June 11. At B’s uncle’s wedding, the entire wedding party came down with the flu and were dropping like flies during the ceremony. I try to push these thoughts out of my mind (though I’m clearly not too successful, hence the nightmares), but I know these are the things we’ll look back on and laugh about in the future. It’s not possible to plan every detail of a day–and who would want to?


Read more about my wedding philosophy here.

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2 thoughts on “Missing Earrings, Disappearing Salons, and Bear Cubs in the Aisles

  1. This is hysterical! I certainly had my fair share of wedding nightmares. The best was when we got to the reception and there weren't any lights. Believe it or not, I still manage to have wedding dreams! The other night I dreamed that we were planning all these details for like…an anniversary wedding…And suddenly I told Patrick "We can't have another wedding now. It's just not appropriate." So weird!!

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