My First Lesson in Marriage

I’m happy to report that we’ve made it through 5 1/2 weeks of marriage. Life doesn’t feel too different, except for the fact that I now introduce B as “my husband”, which takes some getting used to. Not that I expected it to be any different, but I would liken getting married to celebrating a milestone birthday. There was no overnight change in our relationship, just as there’s never any overnight aging realized the morning of a birthday. As a matter of fact, the morning after our wedding, we headed back to our apartment from the honeymoon suite at the Doubletree. We opened the door, dropped our bags, and looked at each other. “Well, I’m going to take a shower,” I said. “I think I’ll start a load of laundry,” B said. And we went about our business.

However, even after dating for four years before getting married, I’m learning things about B that I didn’t know before. I knew that B was a naturally cleaner person that I am. My first clue into this reality was once when I was helping him clean his old room, and he assigned me the task of dusting the power cords. Who does that?? So, although I had fair warning, I’m not sure I realized the extent of B’s cleanliness.

Let me paint you a picture. I wake up in the morning, stumble out of bed, generally to the bathroom or to the kitchen for a glass of water. By the time I return, B has made the bed and placed his neatly-folded pajamas on top of his pillow. Then, we head into the kitchen where I make a bowl of oatmeal with blueberries, and settle into the couch to watch GMA. B finishes eating his Cheerios and Bagelthin, jumps up, and washes his dish and my bowl before the first commercial break. “I’m happy to do my dishes, babe,” I say. “I know, but I don’t mind!” he answers. However, I’m beginning to realize that it’s more his not being able to stand my dirty bowl sitting on the coffee table in front of me for the next half hour than anything else. After B leaves for work, I usually hit the gym and run some errands. When I return home, usually in the early afternoon, B has been home for lunch, emptied the dishwasher, started a load of laundry, and put away his clean clothes from the day before. Wow!

Don’t misread my commentary. This is certainly not a fault of my hubby’s. I LOVE that he helps around the house and is so organized. The “problem”, if you can even call it that, is that this talent so does not come naturally to me. It never has. Growing up, the cleanliness and organization of my room was a constant battle between my parents and me. They tried to help, and tried to instill a sense of responsibility when it came to the subject–but it just didn’t work. In this post I touched on the fact that my mom was never really into the stereotypical home-making or home-decorating. And, although I want to have a clean, inviting home, I truly just do not know how to make it that way.

Instead of feeling inadequate about this (which I totally do), I’m trying to view this as something I can learn from B. After all, there are many, many (MANY!) things he can learn from me 🙂

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